Thursday, September 4, 2008

My Dog Run

An open letter to Jay the "Dog Run Coordinator":

This morning your sign caused me physical harm; my nose is now out of joint.

The first thing I think you should have done in your letter is say that you're sorry. You should have apologized for the shortsightedness and utter lack of competence in coordinating the renovation of the dog run. It's nothing short of appalling. Your budget and phasing read like an episode of South Park.

Phase 1: Steal underpants
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Profit

You stole the underpants and it's now apparent that Phase 2 involves 10 thousand dollars of non-existent funds to finish the job, or something like that. If you think that I, or any of the dozens of people I've spoken with about the subject are going to walk into a retail store and "donate" money, unaccountable funds, you've completely lost your mind. Not after this piss-poor performance.

That said, I appreciate your vision. I'm here to help. I've lived in NYC for 12 years. 8 in the East Village and 4 right here in Greenpoint. The First Run (Tompkins Square Dog Run) just completed a renovation. They did it right and I followed the whole thing from inception to completion.

First they established a 501 (c) (3) [non profit organization]. Then they collected funds and developed a relatively well thought out plan. They hired an architect and actually had plans--something I've yet to see for McGolrick. It took 4 years just to get funding.

Seeing as how you've declared yourself the McGolrick Park Dog Run "manager," I think it's important you know that I'm the McGolrick Dog Run Planning Commissioner; we're going to have to work together to finish the job.

I've contacted my attorney and he's willing to set up the 501 (c) (3) pro bono. Once we've done that, then we'll probably be able to garner some matching funds from the Parks Department. I'll reach out to Parks. Professionally I have a lot of contacts with the City.

I think what we need to do for an interim solution is retrofit that $400 gate that was destroyed during Phase 1. A double gate--a vestibule if you will--is critical to keeping dogs from escaping the run. I'm not worried about my dogs, but if I open the gate to leave and fucking Brownie runs out, liability falls on Phase 1--not me. Our run currently does not meet NYC Dog Run Code. We must remedy this situation, STAT.

I've taken the liberty of setting up a Google group so that everyone who frequents this run can be heard. I've also taken the liberty of naming the run The Winthrop Dog Run. The original name of McGolrick Park was Winthrop Park. Actually a lot of the locals still call it Winthrop. Pretty clever, eh? To join the group go to:
I'm going to take one last liberty and propose we all sit down and work it out in person. Preferably in a bar where the alcohol will most likely force the meeting to devolve into fisticuffs.

This is an old postcard of Winthrop Park. That section on the bottom right of the frame is now our run. Also please note there are no sculptures nor colonnade in center of the park.

Image Credit: TheRootsWebStore

That's my two cents,

-Evan (Poochie and Zuzu)

No comments: